my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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pull my finger (farts)

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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knock knock come in

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops