If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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