Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Knock Knock, Who's There? Not Ann Frank because she died in the Holocaust along with 6 million other innocent people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What do you get when you cut a stick of butter? a butt.

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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12 in general

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops