give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -17

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did I get thumbs up from everyone? Answer: Because they like my anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops