Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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How do you get a black guy to learn how to read? Find a stolen book and tell them that it's the recipe for the spices in fried chicken.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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