what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Once upon a time a was born

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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How old are you? 7

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops