Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

guess what? bannanas

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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