A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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What did the (real) wrestler say to the U.F.C guy? Probably something nice because most U.F.C fighters were wrestlers.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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