What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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I recently sent 10 puns to a joke website, hoping that one of them would win a competition. Unfortunately, they were deemed offensive.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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