What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

How can you finally get your girlfriend to scream in the bedroom? Store the bodies there.

what this: b a dead one of these: p

yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

What do you call an animal killed on the side of the road? A false accusation towards an inanimate object that has no other purpose then providing a safe and smooth ride for drives all around the world.

What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

A man said to another man," you are so stupid you climbed a glass wall to see what was on the other side." The second man said," well you were on this side of the wall and I'm going to kick your ass." The second man had been drinking that night.

My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

A black man walks into a bank with a gun and askes where the safe is then procedes to shoots 3 white men inside of it. Everyone thanks him for stopping the armed bank robbers and he lives out the rest of his life in happiness for he is a hardworking cop and risks his life to save others.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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