Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops