As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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