How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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What do you call a black man on the moon An astronaut

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Denard Robinson

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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