roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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