What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

How you know when dislextic

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

Q. what tall and looks like a jew? A.TODD

how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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