Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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