What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Dollar ice tea... I drink that Supa hot fire... i spit that Two and a half men................... I watch that

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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A white man, a black man, and a brown man are all in an elevator. The white man laughs "this is like the start to a racist joke or something." The other two men strangle him because he is white.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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