What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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what did the man say to the other man when he saw a dinosaur look.

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What did the frog say to the goat? Nothing frogs can't talk.

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Why did the dog chase the cat. Cause he was fking hungry

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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