Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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NEVER

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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