What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

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Why did the boy break his leg? Because he fell off a building

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops