How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

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penisvaginaorgasm

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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knock knock. who's there? no one. no one who? no one who?

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Weaner

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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