A blonde dies Lololol

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down +18

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops