A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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