Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

Yo mommas teeth are so yellow that.....I reccomend she see a dentist.

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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