Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the dinosaurs die out? This is a long and debated subject, and as no one was alive back then and no solid evidence has been found to support any theories we can only wait.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops