Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do people make jokes about cancer? Oviously to get thier ass kicked!!! -BY:KOLBY HOOKS

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A gay man,a black woman,a seven year old child,a liberal,an atheist and an asian walk into a building. A hijacked plane flies into the tower they were in and kills them all on a cold September morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's sad about a truck passing behind a duck? A: Behind the Duck were the Ducklings.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You know whats funny about 9/11? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops