what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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jews

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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A women left the kitchen.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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