What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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school homewrok

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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69.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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