How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Whats green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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A man walks into a bar. Another man becomes the Limbo State Champion.

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What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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These Jokes suck.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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whats the best anti joke ever? mine you dipshit

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was just a young boy living in a quaint suburbial town, his family, 1 2 3 4 and 5 were all killed by 7. 7 then burned down their house while 6 ran away from the blazing inferno he used to call home. 6 was forced to live off the land in order to survive. 6 built a house using only mud and sticks and a little elbow grease. When 7 heard the news that 6 was still alive and well in the forest, 7 went into the woods, tracked down 6's home and again burned it down. When 6 came back from a day of fishing and a handfull of fish, he saw that his house was burned down. The fish then escaped from his hands, and flew away. 7 had left a note on the ground that said 7. 6 then recalled the first time 7 had killed his family and burned down house. 7 had now burned down two of 6's houses. That is why 6 is afraid of 7.

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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