Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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What did the farmer say to the cow that asked for food? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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