Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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The chickens have become self-aware!

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Cripples are lame.

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What do you call a bear in the rain? A wet bear.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops