Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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american idol

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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What did Han Solo say to Chewy before they got in the Millennium Falcon? Chewy, get in the ship.

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Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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A blonde dies Lololol

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A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What do you call it when you see a black man break his arm? There isn't really any name but I suggest he seeks medical attention.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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