Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Micael Jackson enters a bar. Everyone screams, and then someone runs over and pulls the cheap mask off the impersonator's face. Michael Jackson IS DEAD, get over it

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops