roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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A gay man watches football.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops