What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

A horse walks into a bar You have been reading so many anti jokes that you can actually anticipate the anti-joke punchline to this joke, because it is one of maybe 3 or 4.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

A terrorist robs a walrus.

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

a

Knock knock! Just kidding.

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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