Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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