How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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