A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

how do you tune a piano, you dont, piano tuners tune a piano, I wasn't talking to you!

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

whats the stage after cancer? you die

on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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