What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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Please ignore this statement.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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