What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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Q. Whats black and red all over? A. A black wall thats been painted red.

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yo momma so fat, Bob's furniture store is having a sale on wednesday at 5:00.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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what is the difference between my girlfriend and my black pet bunny .... i raped my black pet bunny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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