did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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