Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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a horse walks into the bar. the bartender asks why the long face.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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Why should you never push a Mexican off a bike? Because he will file a lawsuit against you in the event of an injury.

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"What dosen't kill you makes you stronger" Except losing your arms.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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