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Why did I post a joke on this website? Because I felt like it.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Roses are red Violets are purple. I just realized that nothing rhymes with "Purple".

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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