Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Yo mumma so poor that she dosent have any money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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