When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why did the baby die? Lack of oxygenated blood to the brain.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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