A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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