Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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A women left the kitchen.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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jews

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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