How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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what's blue , and you can urinate it? a rim block.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops