What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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what dyu call a bunch of white guys on a bench? the NBA

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferarri? I don't have a ferarri in my garage.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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