I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Sure is hot in here." The other muffin says, "AHHHH! A talking muffin."

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I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless your father is a doctor and you live with him.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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My spelling is horrible

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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Why wouldn't Helen Keller be able to drive if she was alive today? She would be inside her coffin not knowing how to get out

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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two elephants in a bathtub Elephant 1: pass me the soap Elephant 2: no, radio!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car. -Tag

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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ProX hacker JazZ Has aids hahahaha

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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