A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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An alien just ate your family and all of the things you love

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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