There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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