Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Q: Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: Because he was hit by a bus, and then was raped violently. He is currently undergoing psychotherapy.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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you are as stupid as alec. lol neewb

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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