What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

The doctor said to the boy that a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down. He is diabetic.

Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

What's worse then 10 dead babies in 1 tree? 1 dead baby in 10 trees...

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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