Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

thumb_up thumb_down -14

josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's green and gets you high? Marijuana.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is a baby chick after 9 days old? 10 days old.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's red and has zippers? Nothing, because watermelons can't physically drive without the help of a sheeps spinal cords ... DUH

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the Catholic Priest get arrested? Tax-evasion.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Justin beiber get for Christmas? A dildo.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison? Wanted by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

thumb_up thumb_down -16

::ring::ring::ring:: Hello? Is your refrigerator running? Yes, yes it does! Why? I work for a local home appliance superstore and we are having a special on repairs and maintenance. Would you like to try our home appliance maintenance offer? I'm sorry no! I do not actually have a refrigerator. I only have a cooler. Bye! ::the man shuts off his cell phone and sets it on top of his styro-foam cooler as he mumbles to himself alone while on his boat, "Darn advertisement offers!" and continues to fish in the middle of the lake::

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops