roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, a Frenchman, a Scottish man, an Australian, a German, a Spaniard, an Icelandic man, a Norwegian, a Swede, a Dane, an Italian, a Morrocan, an American, an Algerian, an Egyptian, a Syrian, an Israelite, a Chinese man, a Russian, a Japanese man, an Indian and a Brazilian all walk into a bar. It was a large bar.

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What is the difference between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney? One is President, the other is not.

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man:"gullible is written on the celling" boy looks up

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Two rolls are hanging on a wall..... On falls down and the other ones name is Erwin

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender to give him any drink. The bartender gives him the drink and the customer instantly dies. Another person in the bar asked the bartender what dring did you give him. He answered back.....poison

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whats brown and has wings? a stick, i lied about the wings bit

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What do you call a Serbian-Australian man with no arms, no legs, and two feet. Nick Vujicic

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Dumb

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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what do you call a baby with a stamp on his nose.? Kentucky won the national championship this year

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What is Worst than having a cancer ? Having two cancer

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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What is orange and sticky? A blue ice cream with no skeletal structure Hang on, Ice Creams don't talk and the ice cream wasn't even yellow!

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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