What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops