What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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Roses are red, violets are blue. This is a poem about flowers.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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