How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Q: Why are there no tablets in the jungle? A: The pharmaceutical logistics involved would be enormous and would make very little business sense.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Looking's for free... Touching's for free.

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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Why was chuck norris the anti christ? Christianity was being threatened....

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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