Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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