What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

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-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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i'm hard

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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