Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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every knight i see an owl at window

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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A man drinks a java while using Java His java was hot, making him spill on his laptop Blue screen of death

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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