What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get to the hospital before he lost to much blood from his stab wound.

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Sally heard a scream in a dark room and went to go see who it was. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally...

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What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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