Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops