A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

An African-American is working on math problems and notices an Asian man walking by. The African American asked,"Could you help me out on these math problems?" The Asian man replied, " I have never been good at math."

whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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