Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

69.

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...