Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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A man walks into a bar, buys a pint of beer, talks to his friends for while and leaves.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Why's it so bad to be black and Jewish? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Knock Knock Whos there 9/11 nine eleven who? You said you would never forget...

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops