I pushed my friend off the bed after losing to him in FIFA 2011. He died.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

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whats worse than finding a dead cat in your kitchen? a dead cat in your bedroom

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Why did the black man wash his feet? PHOIT!!!! He washed his feet in a bird bath... Too bad his car got thrown off a cliff by a bald eagle with no feathers?

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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