why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

How do you keep a dummy in suspense for 24 hours? Tell him his wife suffered from a severe concussion and that he'll have to wait until morning to see if she's okay

Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

*knock knock* i have diarrhea

Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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