What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops