Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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this website is a bad joke

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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