Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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A penis walks into a bar..

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops