An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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How did the man know he was gay? Australia is full of kangaroos

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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