A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops