What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

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What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops