A man walks into a bar. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -15

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops