Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

-Knock knok who's there? -Orange Orange who? -Orange you glad im an orange? ...I believe you have confused the noun "Orange" with the conjunction "aren't".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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