What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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