What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

roses are black violets are black i am blind

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

Why is this the worst joke ever? Because it isn't even funny.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

What is small, black and has 18 legs? A centipede with 82 legs cut off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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