Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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This guy went to the store because he needed potatoes. So he asked the clerk where the potatoes were at and she said "Isle fiveeeeeee!" So he went there and there were no potatoes ! hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahajhahahahahhahahhahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahhahahhahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahhahaahhahahahahahahaahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahaahahahahahhhhahha

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Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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