(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A young baby died.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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