whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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