What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

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what did the man say to then other man when he said a joke, "Ha"

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue,All you HATERS of J. Bieber, Go suck your MOTHER.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops