The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops