What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats brown and sticky? Doody

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops