A dancer walks into a barre

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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