Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the girl cross the road? To get run over by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops