A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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A Black man, and Jewish man, and a Asian man walk into a bar. They then proceed to buy a drink, leave the bar, and move on with their day.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who's driving? The taxi driver.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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