What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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jews

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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