Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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What did the teenage boy do when his mum was out shopping? Finish his homework.

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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yo mummas so FAT to get to the other side

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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