NEVER

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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A guy walks into a bar and falls.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Your mom is so black, i shot a bullet at her. It came back and said i need a flashlight.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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