Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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