There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

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knock knock Goodbye

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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