What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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