What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops