A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What do Miley and Bill Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

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What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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