Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

Weaner

Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

Knock Knock? Come in.

What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...