"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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