What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the mother say to the banana? I'm going to eat you like your father.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did John name his dog? Doggy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A dancer walks into a barre

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what does 1 out of 15 people get cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops