Where was sally during the bombing? Everywhere!

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Pain Olympics.

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What did the child say to the clown? For a professional entertainer, you're not that funny.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Roses are red violets are blue shes for me not for u if by chance u talk my place ill grab my fist and smah your face

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whats the hardest answer ever? The one without a question.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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