Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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2 penguins in a tub. one looks to the other an says, "pass the bar of soap." the other looks at him.."what do you think i am, a typewriter?"

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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