Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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What's one plus one? 2. Two legit, two legit to quit, hey, hey... What's one plus two? 3. Easy as abc, 123, abc, baby you and me. What's one plus three? 4. hes a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops