Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

whats worse than failing your maths test?

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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