- Anti Joke

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

Why was the old man climbing the flag pole? Because he had Alzheimer, and he was losing his grasp of reality.

why do german shower have eleven holes? jews have 10 fingers

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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