why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops