What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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Guest what in the butt

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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Everything makes me look good, Rape doesn't look good on anyone, and it hurts everyone involved

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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What's the difference between a ball and a bouncy ball? A bouncy ball is bouncy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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