What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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Ok is 25 really funnier than 24 because i think 8008 or 5318008 are way funnire tahn 24 or 35 just saying

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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