Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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A miserable man committed suicide.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What do you call a car with no wheels? Trash

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what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops