A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

Hello, my name is John, and you are reading this paragraph. Find the mistake...

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

A penis walks into a bar..

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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