A blonde dies Lololol

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

if you are reading this your wasting your time

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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