What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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two scientists line up a frog at a line and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off one front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off the other front leg and tell it to jump it jumps 4 feet they cut off a rear leg and tell it to jump it jumps 2 feet they cut off its last leg and tell it to jump it doesn't move they tell it to jump again it doesn't move the scientists come to a conclusion: frogs with no legs...cant hear

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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I? Everett

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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why don't bears wear shoes? because they have bear feet

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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