How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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What did Helen Keller say? Obcojbcidjbcidjbdijcbd

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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Why didn't Sammy Robertson make the world series catch to win the series in 1977? Because Sam, like many many discouraged teens in America, didn't follow his life long dream and later became a janitor at his hometown middle-school.

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I felt like kicking something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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