I'm Polish.

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How do you kill a baby? You take a gun and shoot it.

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whats white a smells like paint. whtie paint.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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