There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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