Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

9/11 my birthday

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

Rebecca Black walked into a stadium. There were so many seats to choose from. But, she sat down in the nearest seat she could find and enjoyed the football game.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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