Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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guess what? bannanas

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Q Why did the chicken cross the road? A Because it couldn't fly

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops