When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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woman's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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