Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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knock knock come in

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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So a blonde a, a red head, and a brunette crash land on an island, they all died within a week...

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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What did the man say before he died? I am going to die.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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What is it called when a black guy gets robed A crime

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A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops