What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-gaurds, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Froghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Froghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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