One, two, three, four and five

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Roses are Blue Violets are red, I need to go the the bathroom

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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what is black and is a really bad neighbor. your bad neighbor wearing a black shirt.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops