How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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