Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

And now a word from our sponsors

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

thumb_up thumb_down -23

First speaker: "why are there so many anti-jokes about something walking into a bar!?!? Second speaker: "there are only a couple thousand of them." First speaker: "it is getting so damn annoying!" Second speaker: "Well, that's too bad for you" The first speaker proceeds in stabbing himself with a knife while laughing hysterecly. First speaker: "ha ha ha ha" Second speaker "emo."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why did the plane crash?.............the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops