What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

thumb_up thumb_down -9

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops