What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Whats The diference between a park bench and a black man? A park bench can support a family of five hahahhaahahah

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a terrible ship crash that leaves them stranded on a desert island. All of their survival supplies sank with the boat so they don't last very long.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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