a

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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