Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

Whats worse than a creep? ..... Paul sweeney!

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

What's Black, white, green, and red? To bloody zebras fighting over a pickle

What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

The Labour Party.

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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