A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me It's me who? It's me who is knocking the door

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Voldemort's nose is so flat, that it looks like he doesn't have a nose.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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