How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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kara is funny she loves her money so she buys a bunny for her honey

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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can you touch your toes? no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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