whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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What did the pig do when the farmer died? He just stood there cause pigs are stupid.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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what does the doctor do when he tells you you have aids? he laughs and says "hahahahahhaha sucks for you, i dont!"

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

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Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

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Rsoes aer rde, voiltes are bule, i have dyslexia. It's not funny.

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Scott Scott who? Scott Henderson. Oh my god Scotty! I haven't seen you since highschool, please come in.

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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What happened to the lady living in the present, crossing a street? Let's watch her and find out.

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What rude names do you call a girl with no limbs? Anything you want they can't touch you

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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