Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Not yours.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Why did the blonde go to law school? She was sick of people assuming that she was not an intelligent woman due to negative sterotypes about her gender and hair color and set out to prove said people wrong.

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Stop asking stupid questions.....

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your parents are dead. And happy birthday!

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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