What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Chuck Norris was dropped twice when he was a baby, once on concrete and once on hardwood

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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What is worse then your car getting hijacked? A 900 pound man eating a Donut.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Why does a squirrel have the tail at the back? Because at the front it's the squirrel.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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