Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

A black person goes up to the drive through at popeye's, what did they say? Nothing, it was closed.

Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

Death by kayak

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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