How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

whats gay and american? a gay american

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

i dont care if you rate me or not

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

How did the mexican die while fixing a lightbulb? He fell off the ladder.

What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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