really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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I knew a little girl once. She was ate before she was seven.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What happens when you drop a glass of milk? It hits the ground and breaks, depending on what material the glass is made of, acrylic glass or plastic, and the softness of the floor you drop it on,

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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