What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops