What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

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What's worse than a papercut? Dying

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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