How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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A white, black, and Hispanic man walk into a bar at 2:00 in the morning. Unfortunately the bar closed at midnight, so they were charged with breaking and entering, and were sentenced to 2 years in prison.

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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