You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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A gay man watches football.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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