Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What did the millionaire say to the hobo? Hi there.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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What did the three year old say when he dropped his milk? Shitting buggery!

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A: mudslide

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Whats worse than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork

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Why did Moses cross the road? He wanted to play Xbox with his friend Jeff. Moses was a 12 year old boy from California.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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What are the similarites between Autistic people and dead people? They are both very poor in social situations

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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