Paper or plastic? Yes...

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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A women left the kitchen.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What? Huh?

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops