Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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One sux, the other is decent. But supporting the sucky one shows u are dedicated.

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Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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