A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

NEVER

A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

Whats the defination of cruelty

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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