Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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