What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

a gay man got shot outside his house even though he was just checking the male get it checking the male

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

What do you call a cow painted in red a cat ( PS : i lied about the cow + the paint ! )

An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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