Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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