What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do You Know You Have Cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

*Walk Into The Bakery* "Excuse me, sir. How much does the challah cost (holocaust)?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm Polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops