A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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