A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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We started this thing together, I do not get it, he is like you said, just a little nerd...

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops