what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What did the Albino say to the other albino? Due to heredity and our inheritance of Chromosomes causing albinism, We could be displaced in society but luckily, we have eachother. They went home and lived happily. But not ever after. That craps or normal people. (freaking albinos...)

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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man 1.have u sen my girl friend man 2. yes man 1. rely man 2. no man 1. dick

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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