Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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What did the fish say to the Asain man Nothing. a fish can not talk

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops