Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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What do you get if you convict a white man of murder? A black man in prison.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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