Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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What are annoying? Ads.

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops