What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many light bulbs? 1

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar, he sits down.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was deaf, dumb, and mentally retarded; you sexist fiend.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops