The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

if you are reading this your wasting your time

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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