Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

Why shouldn't you go to California? Because there are sharks there, obviously.

A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

An Ethiopian fell into an alligator infested river. He ate 7 of them before he got out.

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

WHY DID THE MAN RUN A MILE?.BECAUSE HE WAS TRYING TO CATCH HIS NOSE AND GET A TISSUE

XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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