'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Peas

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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