What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The blonde is in the park withb a rope a man passes and says what are u doing, she says im goin o hang and kill myself. the next day the man comes back and sees the blonde there alive he says i thought u were goin hang yourself she says i tried but i couldnt breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a hairy pussy? A cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what's funny? Rape

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm Polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops