i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue, your face is so ugly it belongs in a zoo, but dont be sad, i forgot the rest, so you wont feel really bad. I need a rhyme, treasure chest.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Nero7 How are you doing? This is "Eliza" I hope I will be joining, but I cannot reach you by phone, please respond ASAP time is running out.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Thank you, you remind me that I am not insane, just because I believe we humans can accomplish more, by uniting as one, rather than fighting one another. I feel as if I belong somewhere else, yet the question remains always, are people such as you better, or are we relics from the past?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -9

how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops