Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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