Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have some pints then leave to do their respective tasks for the day.

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

did you hear about the fly on the toilet? i heard he got pissed off!

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

How did the boy fall off his bike? A fridge was thrown off him

What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

I couldn't afford haircuts so I purposely contracted cancer

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

Yo momma so fat, when she runs she makes the cd played skip, at the radio station!!!

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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