Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops