If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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Pain Olympics.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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