what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

thumb_up thumb_down -13

too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

thumb_up thumb_down -13

No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

thumb_up thumb_down -13

which is faster a) ferrari b) beetle a ferrari

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

thumb_up thumb_down -13

that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops