I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Why was little timmy crying? He walk in on his dad molesting a minor.

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

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¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops