what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Knock Knock The occupant uses their peephole and realizes it is a familiar face then proceeds to let them in.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Death by kayak

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it got hit by a truck before it got to the other side.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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