Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What's black and white and red all over and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a spear through her back

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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your mom.

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Knock, knock. Now before I asked "Who's there" I first opened the door as then I can see who's there without having to ask them through the door.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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how do you keep a monkey from stealing your banana? shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops