What happened to the Mexican who commited suicide? He died.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Poop

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Roses are reb, Violets are dlue, Forgive my spelling, I'm byslexic.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

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why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

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"Want to hear something ironic?" ...he said to the deaf man.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it did not realize it was a man-made distinction for constructed transportation vehicles and had a coincidental tendency to walk toward the area on the other side to find food or avoid birds flying over.

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Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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