A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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guy walks into a bar.... Ouch.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops