Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What happens when you mix breed a cat and a human?? .. you get arrested and get raped by your fellow prisoners DONT do it!

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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=3

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What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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what happened when 3 had sex with 4? nothing numbers are not capable of sexual intercourse

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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How do you get rid of Herpes? You can't.

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why did an old man cause a car accident? He gotf a heart attack.

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why was Chris crying? There was a robbery at his house and both of his parents were brutally murdered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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