What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A terrorist robs a walrus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock! Just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops