Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -5

*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Damn Nero... So you are saying there is no hope left, the underground society is dead and buried.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops