What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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A women left the kitchen.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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