A homeless guy gets done with his daily work. where does he go? nowhere he is homeless...

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Two muffins are cooling on a windowsill. One muffin says to the other "It sure is a beautiful day today." The other muffin says "Holy shit! A talking muffin!"

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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why didn't Marlin monroe ( http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_Monroe ) use the iphone app guitar hero because she died before the iphone was invented !

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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the man was talking to a phone no answered cause he talking to a brick wall

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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Batman vs Superman the movie spoilers: Batman and Superman argue over how to handle some alien invaders, Batman wants to kill em, Superman believes he can save em. In the end they work together and save everybody. Moral: I hope they change the script, ever noticed how every hero vs hero themed movie/cartoon, ends up with them allying at the end? If ya do not believe me, just wait for the movie to come out.

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My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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