How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Want to hear the World's shortest joke? Peace. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats blue, flies with wings, weights over two tons, and has a rocket engine with six eyeballs? *hayball rolls* Moral: Im the one asking you...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

These Jokes suck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops