A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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What did the black man do to the white woman? I Dont KNow ask him

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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womens rights

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Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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