What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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What are annoying? Ads.

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops