Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

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how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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What type of pants do Mario and Luigi wear? Levi or Denim, I'm not sure why but probably because you can get a nice fitting pair for only a couple of bucks.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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There was a boy and..........his dad said to go to the store to get his daily thing.........he went to the store and bought it......he came home and said.....HERE ARE THE EGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops