A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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