What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Red." "Red who?" "Red any good books lately?" Suddenly, the séance lost credibility.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops