What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

roses are red violets are blue i'm chinese and i don't know a joke pickle.

Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

Yo momma's so fat, she's most likely to be at risk of high cholesterol and should probably get herself tested at her nearest health clinic.

Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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