Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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There was a bunch of kids on a bus. One boy yelled "Look a squirrel!" Nobody saw it because he's dyslexic

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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