What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

What do you call a man with only one eye? Half blind.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

guess what? bannanas

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

Yo momma so fat, when she walks she wakes the dead -Ryan Vallee

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...