Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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