Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Peas

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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