how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

What's upside down? umop apisdn

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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