how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

A dancer walks into a barre

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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