How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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-Knock! Knock! -Who's there? -Bob. Is Brian's here? -Wrong adress. Brian's home is the first one at your right. -Oh sorry. Have a nice day.

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Did you hear the one about the pizza and the salamander? Neither did I.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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A man stops another man on the street in Manhattan and asks "How do I get to Carnegie Hall ?" The other man gives him direction, including which subway stop to get off at.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What? Huh?

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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A women left the kitchen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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