why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dane Cook makes a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down

why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats fat and gay joe diragi

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops