Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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