Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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