Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

It was Jimmy's 18th bday so his parents let him have the house to himself. He ate shrooms, fucked his turtle, then had his dick bitten off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

What do you call black people in a pool? Healthy

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

A chicken walked into the bar...

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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