when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Its not a big mistake at all, if people do not want to get hypnotized you cant hypnotize them, or so I thought...

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitchfork. Whats better than catching a baby with a pitchfork? Eating it afterwords.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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What did the chicken say to the duck .... Nothing the chickin was Spanish and the duck was illiterate

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This is an anti-joke.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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