How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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One day there was a princess born in the jungle. The story goes, that she'd be saved by a grand champion - a Hero. So the day came that she fell in love. After a few magical years, they broke up and she realized that fairy tales are for little girls.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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