What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

Knock knock! Just kidding.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...