A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Knock, Knock Who's there? The Johnson Family was then heard on the morning news for letting a murderer into their home before being brutally killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Should a pole bump an alarm?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What is my name? I dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -36

like if your cool

thumb_up thumb_down -36

there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man walked into a bar. He was treated at the local hospital with a minor contusion.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Three black guys go to the mall, they proceed to have a grand time!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Why was the trucker making noises? It was having sex with someone

thumb_up thumb_down -52

why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops