A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Confucius says... He with whom neither slander that gradually soaks into the mind, nor statements that startle like a wound in the flesh, are successful may be called intelligent indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the lady say after she returned home from the grocery store? "Oh no! I forgot the milk!"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What has four wheels and flies? A flying car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's faster than a Nascar Racecar? My thoughts. -Juanita

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops