A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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