Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the players of the all black NBA team say to the white rookie? "Congratulations for making it to the NBA! Your hard work and dedication has certainly paid off."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do you call the quadriplegic man who went water skiing? Skip

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -22

how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You are the most beautiful person in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops