How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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