Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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A man crossed the road. A chicken stood in a doorway smoking a cigarette wondering why whenever he crosses the street his motives are always questioned yet men and other animals are allowed to go about their day normally. END CHICKEN DISCRIMINATION NOW!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!!

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops