Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What do you say to a black man driving a car? Taxi

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ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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One morning a guilty man reluctantly told his wife he was having an affair. After a long awkward silence they were then abducted by aliens.

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL Wasted your time didn't I -All the lol post are by me, LOL GUY.

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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