What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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Sarah Palin.

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Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

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A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

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sadf

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

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What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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