What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

Relax, close down the place, he wont get very far. The rest of you better stay inside, and I promise you will all remain safe and secure.

why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

i dont care if you rate me or not

What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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