- Anti Joke

The Israeli asked the Japanese guy to open his eyes The Japanese guy said, I'm not squinting you crazy Jew. You're the one that sold me these cheap glasses.

yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

Q: What's the upside to your otherwise miserable life? A: You only got raped twice last week.

an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

Larry The Cableguy....thats it.

What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

how do you get a clown to fall off a swing? hit him with an ax

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

a black, mexican, jewish, and white man fall off a cliff, who landed first ? all at the same time, they all died and there familys sued the clifff and commited sucicede

2 men walk into a bar without thier shirts. They get kicked out. 2 women walk into a bar without thier shirts They got beaten almost to death Why? The men dressed up as women, and every hated them so much they beat the almost to death when 2 cops walk into that bar, see the men dressed up as women and they too beat them. Little do they all know that the men disguised as women are really secret goverment agents looking into a drug deal. The drug dealers got away and now we have 2 people sueing the police department and drugs on the street again. Oh yeah I almost forgot: I made this up so if you read it you're going to die withing the next 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 years. I gurantee it. If you dont the men in white coats are going to do extremely painful tests on you and you just might die so then no one will care and maybe get onto thier lives again. Why did I right this? It hasnt happened to me so I dont know If you tell me I will give you something more valueble than gold. Want to know what it is? TELL ME FIRST!!!!

what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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