A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If you woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy, get tested. Immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops