Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Micheal Jackson molests little boys.

Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

Turkey Balls

what do you make if you get a cow, then kill it. ...Steak

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

What's the deal with airline food? Food tastes different on an airplane. The atmosphere dries out your nose, the air pressure numbs 1/3 of your taste buds, and low humidity levels give you cotton mouth. These factors cause the food to taste worse than it normally would.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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