Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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KNOK KNOK WHOES THERE APPLE APPLE WHO SEE THIS IS Y U BROKE UP

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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what purple and jolly barney who doesnt love his charactorial warmth!# not weird

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Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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