What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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i'm hard

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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