Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

An anti-joke

Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

Are we in Tennessee? Because I recently saw on the side of the road that it was 10 miles to Memphis.

your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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