Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench is nonsentient, generally heavier and not necessarily light-dark brown colored, whereas the black man is fully capable of thinking and usually has dark toned skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A chicken walked into the bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

thumb_up thumb_down +3

when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops