why does clive keep getting crunk? because no girl satisfies him as much as geros

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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Read a Book.

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a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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