5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Tom: Did you here about the blond who went to college? Mike: No. Tom: Well I heard she's leading a very successful life.

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how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

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What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally Why can't Sally finish her ice cream She has no arms How do you fit Sally into a box? Put her in a blender. How do you get her out? A straw.

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Hello.

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

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Blonde: what does IDK stand for? Brunett: i don't know Blonde: NOBODY KNOWS!!!

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A man driving through a thunderstorm said, "look, it's rain, dear." His wife, being a reindeer, took offense to that statement.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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What do call a fly with no legs? Dead

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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Why did the girl need a peice of gum after spending 20 minutes parked in the truck with her boyfriend? Because she had spent the last 20 minutes eating sweets, which she couldnt let her mom know she had eaten because her mom calls her fat everyday even though she only weighs 110 pounds, and forces her to only eat vegetables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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