Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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Q: Why does the man smell so bad? A: He doesn't shower

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It is hard to know things like that.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops