What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

thumb_up thumb_down

human centipede

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

thumb_up thumb_down

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

thumb_up thumb_down

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

thumb_up thumb_down

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops