i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

Your adopted.....

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

A chicken walked into the bar...

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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