Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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How you know when dislextic

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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Maths.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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