human centipede

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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9/11 my birthday

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"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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