Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q. What did the blond say when she woke up? A. I don"t know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's white and gluey Glue

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Dick Cheney That's the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Potassium? K.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops