How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society, so she returned to the kitchen and continued to make her master's sandwhich.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

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A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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