Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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why couldnt the jew play basketball? He was handicapp

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outside your comfort zone

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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Good job, son.

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What do you call a truck full of dead babies? Not enough.

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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Don't you hate when you finger your belly button and your nipples exploed?

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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the economy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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