Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

Roses are red. Violets are violet.

What do Grant and Lee have in common? They're both black males

Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

You're such a retard, you have to take special education, live with a mother that doesn't know what to do with you, not understand the real world, and have people look at you strangely for the rest of your life.

What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

Why do fat people commit suicide

What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

Turkey Balls

Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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