Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: The pizza does not scream in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops