How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How does a black guy die? Unknown

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

"Why did Jim Jones put cyanide in the People's Temple Flavor Aid?" Because he understood that adding sugar would be bad for their teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops