A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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What did the Triceratops get for his birthday? Nothing. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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What has three legs, one eye, and is green and fuzzy. I don't know. Me either.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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womens rights

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? 47 dead babies stapled to trees (it's better if it's a nice, round number.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops