As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

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What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

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I walked into the cactus store. The clerk there was being mean so I called him a "prick". ...........

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Whats so funny about the women bringing fast food home for her family? Nothing shes a single mother who does'nt have time to make food between her two jobs.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

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Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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