There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy throw his alarm clock out of the window? Because he was angry at the alarm going off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ask me Whats 2+2. ? Ok what's 2 plus 2 4 you dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black man was walking down the street wearing a ski mask. It was cold outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops