One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

what do you call a black drug dealer? A pharmacist.

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

Peas

You should read the Terms of Service.

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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