what has fore legs and cant fly a cat you idiot

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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autistic kids rock

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why was Katy Perry naked with your mom? Because they were having sex

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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