A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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My Japanese girlfriend dumped me today...Oh well, theres plenty more in the sea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops