What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

What did the Jewish girl do when I asked for her number? Roll up her sleeve...

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

human centipede

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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