Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

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Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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