What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

God is real.

Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

Hey I just met you and this is crazy but here's my chew toy throw it maybe!

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

Why do people on this website suck? Because they are n i g g e r s and jews!

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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