What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head, and then goes to the nearest drinking establishment.

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Chuck Norris.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What did Goldilocks say to the Three Bears? No one knows. Her remains were discovered three weeks later.

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*Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Would you mind turning your music down a bit please? I have reports to write."

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why did the gir fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

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What's three times More dangerous than a war? Three wars

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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Three black men walk into a bar. One of the men, having recently reached sobriety, opts not to commence in the consumption of alcohol. The other two, impressed by his level of restraint, decide to leave the bar and take the initiative to turn their lives around for the better.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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