Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

Why was the chinese man kicked out of the bar? Because he was under aged

An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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