The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

What's worse than falling off a horse? Falling off a cliff.

guess what? bannanas

why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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