What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops