Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Why did the car go down the road? Someone was driving it. Why did the car stop? Because he suddenly fell and had a stroke.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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what has wheels and is red. A heart, i lied about the wheels.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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A man walks into a bar. Ow

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, cause they are walls.

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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