Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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PROS = good things CONS = bad thing So, if PROgress is a good thing...then why is the US government call CONgress?

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How do you get rid of herpes? You shoot up the cancer ward of a hospital.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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There was a asian jew and a black man standing at a bus stop wht do you call the Freinds

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops