Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

What did John name his dog? Doggy

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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