A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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