What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

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Roses are red, Wait. Why start this poem when you cant finish it Refrigerator

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The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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