What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Out of Jill, Jason, Jesse, Jane and Harold, which one is the odd one out? Jason, because he only has one arm.

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Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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I'm gay Mr Goodwin

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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Knock knock Come in

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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A black man walks into a bar He looks at the menu and realizes he's in a bar, so he leaves

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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yo Dawg I heard you like dogs... So I sent yo ass to prison and got an NFL contract

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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