Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

OK, Billy went to his friend Fred in the tree. And then went inside to get a snack. Then Fred fell out of the Tree and.....landed on a comfy mattress.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops