What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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