Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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