Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

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Get up Look in the mirror

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What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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roses are red poo is poo

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Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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"Have you heard the skyscraper joke?" "No." "Oh. Well I don't feel like telling it to you."

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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No

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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