Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

What's the cure of cancer? Death.

Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

Chuck Norris was so famous we was casted for the show Walker, Texas Ranger

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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