Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Gullible is not in the dictionary Yes it is

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

i have two hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the worst lie in the universe? I swear to god that was my last piece of gum

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops