what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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A gay man watches football.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Jesus Christ

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops