Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

why do black people like lotion? because everybody else does.

Yo mama so fat when she dresses in red she looks like clifford the big red dog!

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

How do you fix a chimpanzee? With a monkey wrench

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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