Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? A penis

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Do You Know You Have Cancer?

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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people say i have big feet but you know what the say about people with big feet? :) big socks. sl

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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