Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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God is real.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops