Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

What stinks of shit and has money. Smelly Mc Dee I lied about the money.

Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

Malcom: Knock Knock. Jessica: Who's there? Malcom: It's Malcom. Jessica: Okay. Come in.

I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

I have a joke Who is better, Kobe or Lebron? Kobe. But I lied, that wasn't a joke.

why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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