Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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i'm hard

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why didn't Tom have to pay for his ride to the funeral? Because he was dead and in a coffin.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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