Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a pack of wolverines and decided the best idea was to run away, and this decision just happened to involve him crossing a road.

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

Man walks into a hotel on Friday, Stays for three days and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? A. His horses name was Friday

There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

a gay man walks into a bar the bartender says "what'll it be today" he asks for a beer the bartender comes back with a beer because thats what he asked for.

how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...