How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

Whats green and miss centowski hates a gas chamber :D lets be friends

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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