Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how much did the asian man pay for his operation? nothing. he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I haven't read and I don't agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why don't woman wear watches? Because there is a clock on the stove!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops