What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +1

q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who is Dank? A: Billal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the wolf cry boy? Cause he was a pedifile.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? People that make dead baby jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops