What do accountants do when they're constipated? Take a laxative and eat plenty of fiber.

What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy??? Just different pigmentation of their skin.

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

Why was the man denied access to the college Because he did not have good grades in the past.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

why was the man denied his teaching job? because he is a wanted cerial killer in 43 states.

what is funnier than one dead baby in a dumpster? There is nothing funny about the homicide of a minor, and the murder should be immediately investigated.

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

I once saw a small Italian man wearing trainers with a smart suit. He looked like an idiot, but I considered the option that he may not have had any money left after buying the suit to buy shoes. Exercising diplomacy, I left him be and enjoyed a nice meal with he and his trainers.

What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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