A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding out your boyfriend's gay

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

i'm hard

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...