Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what did the penguin say to the other penguin after they rolled down a hill, and fell into a pile of leaves then proceeded to go swimming, play basketball, go swimming again and then play ping pong and pool? nothing. penguins cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

White men's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops