a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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Roses are red, You're a failed abortion, Happy Valentines Day. :D

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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What's old, silver, and smells like old cheese? A fork with old cheese on it.

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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Why was Joseph Kony at a primary school ? It was 3 o'clock and his children had just finished a long hard day learning to read and right and it was his turn to pick them up after him and misses Kony developed a schedule one late night after the odd glass of wine or two.

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Q. Why did Jimmy fall off his bike? A. Because he had alzheimer's and couldn't remember how to ride a bike.

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Turkey Balls

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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how do you kill a blonde with a pistol Put the clip in and shoot her

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what do You call a white man killing a black man? a accident

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If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops