Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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What do you call your mother's bipolar brother with three arms? Uncle.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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Take part of what?

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What do you call it when a black guy is talking to a white guy? A conversation.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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