So, a Vulcan walks into a bar... and he doesn't say anything, because Vulcan's suppress their emotions.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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is the glass of milk half empty or half full it is scientifically proven that these are the same thing. Choosing one over the other is like saying that 1/2 does not equal 1-1/2. A normal person would just see this as an ordinary glass of milk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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your mother is so fat, she possesses her own orbit

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Why does Shelby Like Pandora? Because she prefers rap and hip hop music and Pandora helps select songs for her to listen to according to her interests.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops