A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

A Buddhist priest, and mexican drug lord, and a 12 year old girl walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the little girl and says. "Honey, you're too young to be in here." the little girl looks around and says. "Oh, My mistake." and leaves.

What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

What is an antijoke? Not Knock

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

Rose are red Violets are blue all I what to know is what do that mouth do

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...