what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Why did the Jew pick up the quarter on the sidewalk? Because he was going to buy a candy bar and was short 25 cents.

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

Why can't Hellen Keller play the piano? She's dead.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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