How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

A priest sneeks in to a pre-school and is arrested shortly after for tresspassing.

Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

What scares little children and befriends their parents? A clown

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense, Refrigerator Sex

Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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