Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

Jesus Christ

a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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