Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

Alright so an elite group of Navy Seals walk into a mansion. They open fire on Osama Bin Laden and kill him.

knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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