Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Three men were lost in a desert when a genie appeared and granted them each a wish. they died of dehydration shortly afterward, never realizing they were hallucinating.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Charlie Sheen

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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