How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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What colour is an orange? Orange. What did you expect?

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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How did the man want his hair cut? In silence.

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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Bugs dance, so do ants, Oh my glob it’s Adventure Time!

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

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Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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