Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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How do you knock up a Catholic girl? Put your penis into her vagina without wearing a condom.

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Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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How do you know if you have athlete's foot? You ask your doctor, and he will tell you.

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a woman goes to an abortion clinic, kills a baby and still leaves pregnant.

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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John: what is blue and goes blub blub Phil; I don't know, what? John: a blue blub blub. What is green and goes blub blub Phil; a green blub blub John: no green blub blubs don't exist, what are you stupid?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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