What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing 'cause you done told the b i t c h twice!

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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