How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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I? Everett

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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There's a black and a mexican guy in a car. Who's driving? The chauffeur.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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WHAT? FRIENDS? DID YOU NOT READ MY QUICKFUCK PROFILE? Likes: Orgies. Favorite color: Pussy. Description:Looking for women with vaginas (maybe an asshole is fine too) Please, I am a womanizer, of course we are friends, heck I am even romantic, you know romantic as in... Uh... Well, maybe not my rose bud... (because that did really not appear at the solve media right now)

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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-How do you wake up Lady Gaga? -Poke her face

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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