What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar and order two beers

Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

deez nuts

Why do fat people commit suicide

A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

What's an AntiJoke? A joke that has no comical value.

person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

12/23/2012

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

Q: What do you call a person with no arms and no legs ??? A: Stumpy

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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