Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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Knock knock Who's there A girl scout A girl scout who? A girl scout trying to sell cookies to support her alcoholic parents who beat her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? They smell bad and they're ugly.

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dallen loves penis

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What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She was too tired and was afraid that if she got behind the wheel it might cause her to fall asleep at the wheel which would result in an accident.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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