What do you call a black guy doing community service? Someone who wanted to give back. Stop being racist.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Why was the little boy sad? Both of his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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