What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

human centipede

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

A black guy, a white guy, and a Canadian walk into a bar what do they all have in common. They are all involved in my Joke.

An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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