Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was girl happy on the day she found out she wasn't pregnant? -It was her birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

thumb_up thumb_down -34

In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops