Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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If life throws you melons, you should do your best to avoid them. Large and hard objects such as melons can easily harm you if moving at high speeds. Fortunately, life is not a physical entity that can throw melons or anything else - so the chances of this event occurring to you are exceedingly low.

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Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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When does Adolf Hitler get horny? When his hormones start at it when looking at women.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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