If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Yo mama's so fat she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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