guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did a Blond do in the Desert? She got lost after Falling of a flying carpet

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

school homewrok

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the man beat his wife? why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was a little boy (Jewish edition) Saten: Look father, my silk vestments make me look so much more fabulous than you! Gad: Oh! Hawt sweetie! But not as pretty as my dress... Err I mean "silks"... Anyway you are no longer my son! Which means we can do you know what ;) Saten: Hmpf! I am feel disappoint in of your dress! Gad: ITS SILKS! just *basically* a dress... Oh my gawd! You refuse to give it to your "daddy" ;) You are losar ant not gonna get to hang around this club anymore! Saten: OMFG you are so enrage! You are liek not classy or flamboyant at all anymore, sorry pimp "daddy" :/ Imma leavin! And btw Adam my secret lover has such a bigger wienersnitzel anyways, and he is totally eating my fruits if you know what I mean ;) Gad: Oh me so jelez I am completelay going to panish him! I am throwing him out of Paradise and he will only be abley to get children with women now, lulz I am liek so evel. Saten: OMG WEMEN! UR LIEK ZO EVEL! What u goin to do next huh? Forbid Sodomy? Omg tat would be so mean :(... Moral: "NEVER WEAR A FINER SILKS THAN GAD!"...Well, it starts with two flamboyant faggots fighting over who has the "prettiest silk vestments" (basically dresses)... The rest kinda kinda figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops