Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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I just flew in from New Zealand, and boy am I tired. It was a really long flight and I found it incredibly difficult to sleep in those seats, so I didn't bother and kept myself awake watching in-flight films the whole way.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Whats something really annoying? A guy who presses enter too much. hehe

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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How do you call leprechaun with leprosy? Sick.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

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How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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