What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A dog was barking at a tree

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops