Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

knock knock. whos there? the IRS you have recently filed for bankruptcy and we are repossessing your house.

A man walks in to a bar and everyone screamed running out the door.

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

A man walks into a bar. The initial impact knocks him violently to the ground, where he lies gasping in agony. Flustered and in a state of psychological shock, he shakily reaches up and touches his head in an attempt to asses the damage he has sustained and establish the seriousness of the situation. He lets out a resigned whimper when he realises his hands are stained a deep red. More blood gushes in torrents from his left temple, and the man chokes on his vomit as he writhes on the ground uncontrollably, incessant waves of pain washing over him. The protruding metal bar left so carelessly in his path has done a lot more damage than the man is aware of. His skull has been shattered in several places and he has suffered additional fractures to his cheek bone and jaw. Also, the sheer force at which the man has collided with the bar means that he is severely concussed and the onset of brain haemorrhage is becoming very likely. Brain haemorrhage is a very common cause of strokes and, if left untreated, the bleed will almost certainly kill the man in later life. However, the chances of the man reaching this stage in his life are now almost non-existent. He is losing copious volumes of blood from the wounds sustained to his face, and is becoming weaker by the second. He needs a blood transfusion immediately if he is to live. But nobody is there to go to his aid. The harsh reality is, he is doomed...

"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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