What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She didn't have a dog.

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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Why hasn't little Johnny ever had a clown at his birthday party? Johnny is an underprivileged Hispanic member of the community.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was osama bin laden

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What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

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Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!

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The speeding car skidded on the rain-slicked roadway. Beyond the outside of the curve was a 100 meter drop-off. As the car slid toward the edge of the road, the driver and passenger both had a sick feeling in the pit of their stomach and wished they hadn't ordered vinegar milkshakes, the special of the day at Pickle Shack. Or it could have been the toadstools, but it didn't matter now.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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why did the chicken cross the road? well... to get to the other side.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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What's a lil plus a lot A little more then a lot

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops