How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

Why was the truck covered in blood? The chicken tried crossing the road

69

What's 9 +10 19

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

How do you make the perfect anti-joke? Don't tell it.

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

What smells like curry and bombs? A dead Indian

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

Why Because

One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

Hahahahahhaha...................................black people

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

What is the difference between a Mac user and a PC user? The operating system that they prefer to use.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...