School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

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ASSCHEEKS

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Why was the Asian man told to open his eyes? He was sleeping.

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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Acouple of grammer nazis walk into a bar & 'their' treated very poorly.

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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You're pretty... PRETTY UGLY

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Popsicles

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what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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