How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

A purple kangaroo hops into a bar. There is no such thing as a purple kangaroo. The end.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

husband; do you come here often wife: i live here

What do gay horses eat?........ Cheese

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

fart

Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

What's worse than being a replacement? An insufficient replacement.

Pickle!

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

Roses are flowers jordan does it for hours xxxxif ya know what i mean

What do you call a man who just died 5 minutes ago? Dead.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

A businessman walks out of a store with his new haircut he was bald.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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