What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the girl not apply for her American CItizenship? She was already an American Citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

why did the mexican slave have cuts and bruises all over her. She fell off her skateboard... Another joke by rangler. thumbs up for more.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

thumb_up thumb_down -60

So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

thumb_up thumb_down +61

the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Child Prostitution.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

your mamas so fat she falls out f both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A black guy walks in to a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops