The size of Idris Elba's penis

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a banana

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What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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What's big? Jupiter.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did dan jump off of the empire state building? -Because Carl pushed him off.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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What Do You Call A Japanese Man Humming Classicle Music While Removing Toy Soldiors From His Ear With His Foot Jumping Up And Down On A Large Elephant Strutting About The Universe? Strange.

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A cathlic priest walks into a bar, but realizes there are no young boys hr could pickup.

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Why did the black man sit at the back of the bus? Because all of the seats were taken by other people of different races. Luckily for the man, there was one empty seat at the back which he was able to sit on to make himself comfortable.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Tulips are red, And my garden is red. OMG...MY GARDEN IS ON FIRE

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What did the man say to his wife before they went to bed? Goodnight.

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Small breasts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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