Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

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Teacher: Maria please point to America on the map. Maria: This is it. Teacher: Well done. Now class, who found America? Class: Maria did.

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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james schmitt whats your last name

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Whats black and white and red all over? An interracial aborted fetus

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knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

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A three legged dog walks into the bar and says, " I'm lookin' for the man that shot my paw." The bartender replies, "Your father was an honorable man, and I wish I could help."

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A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

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Why was the blonde woman crying? -because she witnessed her infant get sucked into a jet engine and was very sad.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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Daddy daddy daddy. What. Will you buy me a porn for my birthday. What! I want porn daddy. Shut up gosh your a 8 year old girl

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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What do black men do in the South? Hang around

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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