The size of Idris Elba's penis

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

Lockerbie bombing

There once was a genie With a sevenfoot weenie And he went to the lady next door She thought it was a snake So she hit it with a rake And then he murdered the shit out of her.

Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

What's 9 +10 19

Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

Knock Knock COME IN!!!!

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

knock knock you may come in

i have 2 penises

69

What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

Yo mama so fat even Dora couldn't explore her!

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

Penis

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

What do you call someone who can't move their arms or their legs A quadriplegic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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