roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

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Q: how do you spell apple without any letters? A: you can't.

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What do a Shark and a lemon have in common? They can both swim, except for the lemon

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A man walks into a pole and freezes to death.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street and one was asalted

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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A black woman and an Asian woman are both driving their cars. They arrive safely at their respective destinations.

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yo mama's so fat, her medical weight chart is much steeper than those of most women her age

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Knock knock Who's there? FBI

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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#FEARtheFLAMINGOS

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It is cruel to want a "sky full of lighters" as, according to the Laws of Gravity, the lighters will eventually come back down to earth and incinerate everything below them.

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black people. that is all...

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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how do you get a blue waffle? paint your vagina blue

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why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms.

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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