What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? If you need an electrician to screw in a lightbulb, you're a moron.

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That's what he said.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have candy GET IN THE VAN NOW BEFORE SOMEBODEY SEES US!

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For as long as i can remember, i've had memories

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So Mel Gibson walks into a bar, and then everyone left.

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I won the game.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has Parkinson's Disease which causes his hands to shake uncontrollably thus making drawing anything relatively difficult and a perfect circle impossible.

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RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES RATE THIS JOKE THUMBS UP FOR TEN COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES COOKIES

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Why did Hitler cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways. Only after practicing proper safety procedure did he venture across the busy thoroughfare to retrieve his asthma medication from his car.

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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jgkbk,mn

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Lockerbie bombing

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Penis

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Somebody pushed it

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released at a nearby park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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