What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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