This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Girl Scouts selling cookies! I'm not legally allowed within 500 yards of you. Please get off my property.

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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What is worse than getting shot in the leg? Getting shot in the head.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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I Have a Black Friend

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Women's rights.

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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