How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Nobody walks into a bar. So nothing happens.

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

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On Wednesday night, a drunk man was walking on the cliffs of dover. his funeral was saturday.

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Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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