Q: why did the little boy fall off the swing? A: He had no arms Q: Why couldn't he get up? A: He died when he hit the ground

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What do you get when you cross a hamster with a zebra? A genetic abomination that you should put out of it's misery.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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what happened when joey asked the teacher to go to the restroom? The Teacher said "yes you may go to the restroom," not even putting into consideration that joey was a ginger and discriminating him because of it.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What is a pedophile's favorite thing about twenty-six year olds? There are 20 of them.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Death by kayak

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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