Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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what's funny about war? nothing!

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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Whats from Hattersley? Someone who lives in Hattersley.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys. The owner of a basketball team

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In soviet russia, child molests you! Unfortunately true

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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You can lead a fool to wisdom, but you can't make him think.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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