Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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A kid comes across an injured duck near a lake. Nevermind he doesn't see it he's really high.

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Justin Bieber

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops