Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a T-Rex? Humans are vertebrates belonging to the Mammalia class, chiefly a member of the species Homo sapiens; dinosaurs are chiefly terrestrial, herbivorous or carnivorous reptiles from the extinct orders Saurischia and Ornithischia.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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When black people wore their pants low, white people called it "Saggin" little did they know that "saggin" spelled backwards is "white supremacy" those sneaky white people

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Why are black people like trees? Because they fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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You're mama's SO stupid that when she applied to college, they were happy to help.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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