What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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Jesus Christ

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Q: What do Captain Jack Sparrow, Captain Crunch, Captain Morgan and Captain Kangaroo all have in common? A: They are all caucasian

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

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How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

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Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops