What did the disrespectful cow say to his parents? Mooo. I hate you both

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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Roses Are Potato, Violets Are Booze, Im Irish and i hate Jews.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem sucks Because violets are purple

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The question just posed is unanswerable, as in order to state the reasoning for the chicken crossing the road, one would have to assume the a chicken has a concept of 'road'. As the chicken is an avant, we can safely say that it has no need of pavements/ sidewalks or roads. As a result, it cannot possibly have an incentive for doing so. Consider the following hypothetical analogy: you are walking in a forest, and you unknowingly cross another animals scent trail. You cannot possibly say WHY you walked across the scent trail, as you didn't know it was there. You can state your reasoning for walking in the first place, but not for crossing that specific scent trail. In conclusion, this question is unanswerable, due to the chicken's lack of knowledge about roads.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Whats wrong with me? Your alive.

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What did the text-to-speech reader say when the 12 year old boy played around with it? "Ass ass ass ass, ass ass ass ass."

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Me:hey paul did you see that story on the news? Paul:ya i did thats really crazy!

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? The pig rolled in the mud!

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

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Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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Why don't sharks attack lawyers? Professional Courtesy

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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A black man walks out of a police station

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how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops