I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Justin Bieber

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+funny&hl=en&safe=active&biw=1024&bih=398&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=lc8_fNCatYHOqM:&imgrefurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/harry-being-typical-harry/&docid=86Gw8eNJ73tOYM&imgurl=http://www.vervegirl.com/cms/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/harry-styles-300.jpg&w=300&h=400&ei=q4vHT9XwHYL48gSJoJzJDw&zoom=1

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops