What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Haikus are lovely But sometimes do not make sense Refrigerator

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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What is the worst party ever? Nazi.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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Roses are red.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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what did the poor guy get for christmas POVERTY

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What's black and runs fast? Newsflash: Most of you are racist.

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

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Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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