What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released in a nearby park in a safe and risk free process.

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Who the hell is Femi Otedola?

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what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

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HELLO EVERYONE

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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This Haiku is strange There is a dinosaur WOW Snuffleupagus

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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