A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

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what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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A man is driving the speed limit of 55 on the highway. He gets pulled over and the cop says, "Do you know how fast you were going sir?" The man replies "Well yes I was going 55, the speed limit." The cop says, "No you were going 80." The speedometers broken.

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I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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How do you make a baby stop crying?you scream at it and throw it at wall

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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