A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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