Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

scraggle is in you pillow case

Why is a bird when it flies? Because the higher it goes the much.

whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

Why do asians get good grades? Because they study very hard and want to achieve success so they can provide for their families.

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

If a train leaves Chicago at 50 miles per hour, how hard does the baby strapped to the tracks get splattered?

I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

A woman is shopping at a grocery store. She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line. "You must be single." the clerk says. Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?". "Because you're ugly".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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