Why the babie was not drinking his milk? He was dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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How do you make a clown happy then sad? You give him pot then shoot him in the foot

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angelo snyder is not ga

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Why did a white man get kicked out of the Olympics 2012¿ Because he did not have down syndrome

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Women's rights.

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What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

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They found Michael Jackson dead in his house and found Madeleine McAnn in the cupboard 8P

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Why do black people like watermelon? Because it good you racist bastard!

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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