Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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A pretty funny pick-up line that probably doesn't work: "Hey, do you work at Little Caesar's? Because you're hot and I'm ready.

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Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Why did the guy lose the race? Because he had explosive diarrhea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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