What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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How do you stop a black man drowning? Take your foot off his head

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

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Yes

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when nothing goes right go left because if you go straight you will fall off the cliff

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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