(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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knock knock who's there ?

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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If you don't see banners here, it doesn't mean they are not there...

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops