You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

2 muffins are in a oven for 30 minutes, the baker then questions why he only baked 2 muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man finds out he was molested by his father as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

b

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a hamburger with nothing inside of it? A virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the no-arm, no-leg, paraplegic orphan with cancer get for christmas? Pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

had a good wank over anime yesterday xoxo dylan hodge

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Did you know Hellen Kellers father was a skilled craftsman? A: Neiter did she.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops