Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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I have a really funny joke.

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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NEVER

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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