Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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What does it take to shit in a shower?? To choke on a whambar and be 90 kgs!

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Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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