Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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A grandfather clock fucked my bicycle!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he was raped.

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Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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cool

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Do you play piano? No

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So my friend told me to go shot myself I got my Canon and shoot myself The image came out very clean and profession.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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What happened when the young child fell off of the swing? He broke open his head causing him to be sent to the hospital for 3 weeks.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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