A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? You can't Jelly your dick into your girlfriend's ass.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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you know whats not funny white boards.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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