This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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why did the plant eat a banana? it was hungry

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What's the difference between Hurricane Sandy and Barrack Obama? One is a catastrophic event that resulted in thousands of deaths, countless power outages and homes destroyed, and millions of dollars in damages, and is said to be one of the worst tropical storms to ever hit the nation. The other is the President of the United States, who has put in an unbelievable amount of effort to fix our economy, create jobs, and make America a better place to live. So as you can see, the two things are extremely different. One must wonder why this question was even asked in the first place, as one is a human being and the other is a storm, making any common traits between them almost non-existent.

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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The holocaust

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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How do you drown a fish? You don't...

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

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What benefits came from the September 11th attacks? None. It was one of the most horrific tragedies in American History

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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Josh brown loves Jessica Potts from Dylan xoxo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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