Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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scenario: two teddy bears wrestling under water question: how many apples does it take to tussel with a potato answer: 96 becouse pillows dont eat chease

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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Why did the paperboy fall off his bike? I threw a fridge at him because he was a ginger.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

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whats floppy and smells like trout? trout.

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What Did The Ocean Say To The Other Ocean? What? Nothing, They Just Waved. Oh. Did You Sea What I Did There? No. I'm Shore You Did.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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school homewrok

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What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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