Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

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Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? Generally speaking- biology, except in cases of transexuality.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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You know what makes me smile? Facial muscles.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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