Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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If there are anti jokes why are there no uncle jokes?

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Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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