There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

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What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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