Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Yellow People !!

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What is red and cry's? A baby chewing on a razor blade

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What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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Q: How do you make a baby cry? A: Throw a brick at it.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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