Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do you call someone? use a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why do women have boobs? So you've got something to look at while you talk to them. That's sexist... I'm sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what happens on labor day? the day she has a baby... ya your having a kid

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the baby cross the road? he was taped to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops