An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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Knock knock Come in

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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My cat just died.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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What's yellow, black, and makes you laugh? A bus full of black people going off a cliff.

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What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? No. Well, neither has he

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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