What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

knock knock whos there? your dr you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -23

how much c o c k could a n i g g e r lick if a f a g g o t licked a d i c k

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call an asian plumber? A plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Shaman walk into a bar. The Bartender looks at them and says "What is this a Joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops