Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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a

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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