A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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why did the family get sick?? because i fucked a girl with a parsnip then sold the parsnip to a family with 4 small children

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

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What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

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A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Your mother is so ugly that her physical appearance causes her to have a low self-esteem.

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Whats worse than 20 dead babies in a garbage can? A: The smell

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why did the blue berry cross the road

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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