What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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Where did Jenny go after the explosion? Everywhere

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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NEVER

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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