are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Hamsters are a lot like cigarettes. They're completely harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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