I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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What does a casino have in common with a woman liqur in the front, and poker in the back

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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