What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They all die of starvation.

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roses are red violets are blue I suck at poetry time for lunch :D

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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whats big and white and falls from the sky\ Refrigerator

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Why did the girl with a striped ball fall over? She was a victim of a drive-by shooting.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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