Why did the chicken cross the road? He was heading to the funeral house to mourn his dead family.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, It's none of my business.

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops