A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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My math homework brings all the asians to the yard and their like it wasent that hard and their like it wasent that hard. comment what song it is like.

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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A women left the kitchen.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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