A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Knock Knock! It's me! Hello? Hello! Why didn't they answer him? He was at the desert, with a disconnected phone. Also, my Captcha for this is "lose face" Good job solf mediya

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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There was 3 Men. Who had crashed their car on there way back from the Bar, All 3 of them died. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told him " The better in life you were with relationships,and staying true with one love- The better Transportation you get." Guy one got a Scooter. Guy two got a bike. And Guy 3 got a Mustang. One day, Guy 1 and 2 were on their bike and scooter. And they see Guy 3 upset. "Whats wrong? You got the best transporation in heaven!!" Guy 3 looks up at guy 1 and 2, Then says " I know I do..... But, I just seen my wife on a Skateboard."

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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