How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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Why couldn't the boy in the wheelchair sue the man making fun of him? Because he couldn't get up the stairs to court.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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God is real.

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You arrive in the middle east. What is the first thing that you want to do? Leave

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

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dont insult justin bieber, she has feelings too!

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What's the correct way to eat spaghetti? Put it in your mouth.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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