Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

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whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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What did the homeless guy get for Christmas ? Frostbite

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is slenderman and he is chasing 6

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Two baby seals walk into a club.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops