What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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