God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

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You are the most beautiful person in the world.

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Suicide isn't the answer, it's just the solution. -by Ross

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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12/23/2012

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Q:How do you confuse a blonde preschooler? A:Calculus.

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person 1: don't look person 2:Why person 1:because my shirt not on and my boobs are jiggiling

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God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

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how old is god? i don't know thats why i'm asking you. by: Brennan pickrell

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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