What's green, covered in cookie crumbs, and lies in a ditch? A Girl Scout that was hit by a car.

roses are red, no one gives a shit, get back in the kitchen and bring me my chicken dips!

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

Who wants water? I do.

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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