- Anti Joke

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't.

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

Three Kids dressed as a bear, a chicken, and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender asks the to leave as they are all under the legal drinking age.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby