What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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how do you drown a blonde in a kitty pool? put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom

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what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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XD That one was awesome Nero, for a moment I was really wondering if you refer towards a tough guy as yourself as a boy. Now you pretty lucky I like tough guys, and you always have a savage joke at hand don't you?

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Q:what do you call someone who spends 7 hours a day playing video games? A: Someone who takes pride and joy from gaming

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that green thing is not a leaf, it's my sister

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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