Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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In my country we don't swim, we drown.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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