Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

yo mama is so fat, she's obeise

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ _________________________________________ That's a road. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot that made this joke, me. And what did the idiot do? He ate it with barley. There was food poisoning. Where did the idiot's vomit go? In yo poo.

Whats do Hispanics and Blacks have in common? They are both stereo-typically defined and thus the subject of many popular jokes.

Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

I took your mother out for a classy steak dinner. I decided not to call her agian because we weren't very compatible and the conversation was very superficial.

Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

He who laughs last gathers no moss.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...