Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Who the hell knows..?

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why couldn't the married couple have sex? They were lesbians who were saving up a sex change.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from the farmer's field. The family were not too disheartened, as the rest were still contained.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops