Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My friends all use twitter but i dont know how to use it, so i said i will carry a megaphone around saying what i am doing at random times. Like yesterday i was in the library so i said into my megaphone "i am in the library" Yay i got 3 new followers, 2 of them were cops. Jokes From Blox Computers Corporation [Thailand] Bellow Joke In Thai: ?????? Twitter ???????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ? ???????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? "i am ??????????" ??????????????? 3, 2 ????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Dwarf Shortage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You're Mom is Dead She was killed by a Grammer Nazi for me misspelling Your

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops