Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops