It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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This girl came up to me and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. Her name was Jill.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Man: Excuse me sir, is this where I turn in my library book? Farmer: You must be really lost, this is a farm.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops