Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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What's funny? Nick Sotelo

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Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

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What do u call 2 black people in the front of a car 3 in the back and 2 on top of the car going off a clif? A waste u can fit 2 more in the trunk

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How did the Mexican cross the border? He couldn't he didn't have legs

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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How old are you? 7

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

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cake cake and no cake, your life just ended

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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