where was Billy during the bomb? Every where

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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what do you do when you see a black man punching a girl? act like you dont see it and get the hell out of harms way

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck had AIDS?

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An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What's worst than the finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worst than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Finding seven dead babies in a trash can. What's worst than that? Finding one dead baby in seven trash cans.

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So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Why do chickens have feathers? Because chickens are birds and birds have feathers.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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