What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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What sound does a dog make? WOOF What sound does a cat make? MEOW What sound does a giraffe make? ...

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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Why did billy go to the beach? To spread his moms ashes on the sand.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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