Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

whats the difference between a frog and a toad ones a frog

How does a man with no legs cross a road? In his wheelchair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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