"Knock knock" Come in!

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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Two elderly men were sat next to a children's playground... They were there to pick up their grandchildren because their parents were at work.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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