What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: If your 17 year-old-daughter is a drug addict, how many cartwheels are you going to have to do to make it to Georgia? A: The French Revolution, because your grandmothers facebook shows an 11 year-old selling Concords to a green alien, which can only mean that over 600 people watch porn daily.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you kill a Jewish person? Like any other person, they are like any other person of any race and religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

thumb_up thumb_down -15

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why were minorities denied access to the bathroom? A: It was for employees only.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops