What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? A lot.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Pizzas were meant to be put in an oven.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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What do u firmly grasp and stroke until u can't go any longer? A shakeweight....

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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A Jew with a boner runs into a wall, what hits first? His nose

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Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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