why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is both deaf and blind. Driving would be an extremely hazardous action for herself and other nearby drivers.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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