Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An optimistic person says the glass is half full Pessimistic people say the glass is half empty Engineers say the glass is 2 times the size it needs to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

theres no I in Intelligence a.w. j.p.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what's funny about war? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's upside down? umop apisdn

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops