Dear Sarah, My name is Jesse, and I am severely overweight. BOUNCE ON MY DICK LIKE TYGA BITCH, Your lover, Jesse.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Hopefully it made it over without lacerating its underbelly, thus causing fatal bleeding.

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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Your text.

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If Selfish Sam has twelve cookies and Tricky Todd asks for three then how many cookies does sam have left? Twelve. Remember he's selfish

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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Get on your knees Ho

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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Do you want icecream, Björn?

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Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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Why couldn't the man get a job at the daycare? Because he was a serial killer/rapist.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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