A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

cool

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What is a waste of time and money? Your mother.

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

Where would canada be without nature? still here

A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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