there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

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Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What do you get when you cross isopropil alcohol,ammonia; dish detergent fluid, water, vinegar, and lemon oil? Window Cleaner.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, most poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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What did the 3 month old puppy get for Valentines day? Heart Worms. What'd he get for Christmas? Put down.

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Listen Nero, I understand now that this is your real name, actually I know where you live thanks to the good old phonebook... ...My order is fully based on respecting and treating all living beings equally and focusing on actually putting old notions such as Gods and superstition away in order to strengthen humankind`s belief in itself and others. As for Nerometal, well, that was one of my... Lesser followers, I assure you they have been taken care off, they will not be bothering you ever again. What would it take for you to forgive our transgressions? Money? Power? Ask and you shall receive, as far as your identity goes, you shall have it back and I shall use another site in the future.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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