Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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What do you call a Muslim on the moon? An astronaut

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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