Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

What is the difference?

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

If these walls could talk - the public would pay large sums of money to see this marvel of science. On a more serious note, they might also tell the cops about the many dead hookers stowed within them.

What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

Why was the blonde walking funny? She had a ten foot long metal bar shoved up her butt, and it was very painful to walk.

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

What's a worse place to be besides the friendzone? On your grandmas lap crying because your parents just died in a car crash.

why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

Knock Knock. who's there? James. well use the doorbell.

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

I wumbo, you wumbo, he, she, wumbo, wumbology the study of wumbo

There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? Nope! I'm a person! - SMC Digital

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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