What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

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Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

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What happened to the Chicken who crossed the road? It made it to the other side!

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why cant the porcupine marry the balloon? ...neither one can talk.. obviously.

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had escaped from his farm and didn't understand the laws of jaywalking.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops