What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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why did the boy fall over? because he was hit by a fridge that fell out of the tree.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Impossible, non-living organisms are incapable of moving and babies lack the brain capacity to understand how to screw in a light bulb.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

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Why couldn't the boy watch the DVD about pirates? Because his mother did not understand the importance of putting the disc back in it's case after use, and as a result, has become too damaged for the DVD Player to play.

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3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

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Guess what? I like trains.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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What did the blonde call her pet zebra? Isaac

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

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how did the fat man survive the plane crash? he didn't, he died like everyone else.

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What was so sad about the white woman who dropped her Starbucks? It fell on her baby in a nearby stroller giving it third degree burns, disfiguring its face.

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knock knock who's there BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! BANG!! who OPEN THE DOOR ITS THE POLICE

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what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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