Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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Why did the black man commit suicide last tuesday? he was just fired from his job, his sister passed away, and he became depressed

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the girl drop her sucker? she was hit by a truck!

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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