Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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NEVER

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

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That awkwad moment when a homeless man runs naked around a golf cource yelling hears the 19th hole bitches.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops