What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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Why did the fat girl stop eating? She wasn't hungry.

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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bangers and mash?

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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How do you kill a hobo? Throw a penny off a clif.. How do you kill another hobo? Tell him the penny's still down there

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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