What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...