Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops