boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Why was the black man picking cotton? Because he was in an area where slavery is a socially and morally accepted practice.

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What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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Anne Widdecombe becomes attractive.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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How do you stop a plane? Land it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops