What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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What? Huh?

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops