What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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