I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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a boy scout wipes his butt with a dollar cause he had no toilet paper then the other boy scout hears him screaming they meet up later and the other boy scout askes why he was scream and the first boy scout says that is hard to wip your butt with 4 quarters.

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Who's the fastest kid in AA

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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why did the pyromaniac burn down the house? because he is a pyronaniac, he derives pleasure from burning things.

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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I like your words "He without an equal, also stands alone was it?"

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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