A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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Hah, I bet a faggot that lost his balls in the war is "above" such things as seduction and all things straight! 25 million US dollars, send them to me within a week, or I will hunt you down by tracking down every single one of your fucking followers (all six of them), and make you wish you where dead. And tell me where you live, send me your sister so I can rape her, send me your boyfriend so I can cut him to pieces, send my your children so I can make sure your genes stop, send my your mothers tits so I can hang them on my wall, and kill your father and post the shit on youtube! Maybe then we are halfway close a settlement.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Q: Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because his body shut down due to the fact that a bullet went straight through his brain. This happened before he could even order his ice cream.

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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Q: What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A: I like your shoelaces!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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