Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What do you call a Mexican? Whatever his name is you racist.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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What is funnier then 25 9/11

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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What is a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the african child get for christmas? Abducted.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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