Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops