A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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whats the difference between a baby and a puppy? i care when the puppy dies....

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Knock Knock Whos there? You You Who? Who You Oh im Jim.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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Why did the feminist complain? that's what they do

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

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The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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