2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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A man walks into a pole and says "I know, this pun is lame"

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Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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69.

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Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

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What do black people and asians have in common? arms

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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What do you call a lot of Chinese people in a confined place? A Chinese urban center.

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Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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