Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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How did the corpse cross the road? They can't cross the road they're dead.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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i 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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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What happens when you get your leg caught in an elevator door? Nothing. It is likely that the elevator has advanced sensory components that won't allow the door to close on your leg.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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Boy: Why is the sky blue? Man: Because it is

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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