Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

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What did the pineapple say to the orange? Nothing; Neither a pineapple nor an orange contains the necessary muscles to produce speech.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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The trick to making a good anti joke is having anticlimactic ending.

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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I'd like to advertise the love of Jesus in Kobane. Do u join me next Monday? :D

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

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What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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What do you call a cat with a pop tart for a body and rainbows flying out of its butt? Nyan Cat

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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