- Anti Joke

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

A woman walked into a college.....which wasn't suprising because she never learned to read

How do you hack into someone's computer? A few good hits with a hatchet should do the trick

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't.

What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

Why was this German dude's water bill so high this month? Because there were thirty dead Jews in his shower. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

I agree Nero, we agree there, but let me ask you, why did you have the deep desire to create such a society before? You managed to do so as a teen, you wanted to help others, you put them before yourself, you where far more loyal to them, than they ever where to you. What motivated you then to sacrifice so much, where is that strength today?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops