What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

Why did Johnathan drop his popsicle? He was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Johnathan

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

Hush, little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird. If that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a another mockingbird.

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

Whats the defination of cruelty

A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

Why was the girl angry? She's PMSing. Give her a banana and stay away.

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

Why didn't Suzie ride her bike? Suzie's mother aborded her. She was never born.

Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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