Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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How did Sarah Offet win? He had no arms. Knock, knock? Whose there? Not Sarah Offet

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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i dont care if you rate me or not

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What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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