What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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This is an anti-joke.

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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A Johnson walks into a hole. Why am I in this hole? Because rape is not an option.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? On average 2,950, however, this has not been properly tested due to obvious reasons.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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Your mother is so fat that she will likely eventually develop diabetes.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Why couldn't Jimmy eat his food? Because I threw a microwave at him

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what is red, yellow, green, blue, purple, and violet? Blood i lied about the other colors...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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