What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Knock knock Come in

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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Comes a giraffe on a scooter to the hospital and asks: 'can I have some flour?'.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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The saying "When Pigs Fly" Can easily be canceled. Just tie a rocket and wings to it and let it go.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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What do you call a person without any arm no legs and a eye patch? names

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Why did the man get a penis Becuse he was gay Add on He died

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Why did the small 12 year old run away which a chicken. He felt like it and he was carrying bread which the chicken was allergic to.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops