What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Why did the Chicken become a medium? To talk to the other side.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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