Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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During a boxing match, a white man faces an Asian. The Asian loses. Next the white man faces a Mexican. The Mexican also loses. Now the white man faces a black man. "Aw screw it!"

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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What do you call a black man? A normal human being

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

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One linners President Kinnedy did you like the parade President Lincon did you like the play

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Two antennas falls in love. They get married. The wedding was horrible, but the reception was great.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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why did the blind kid cross the road... because he was sick of being blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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