Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

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"Doctor, I seem to have a large horn-like growth protruding from my nose". "Well, yes, that is because you are a rhinoceros".

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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What do you call a black hitch hiker: stranded

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops