roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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what do you call a guy with no arms or legs and wearing red and white in the ocean? a dead person and someone needs to call the cops cause thats terrible.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What? Huh?

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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A duck walks into a grocery store. He looks at the shopkeeper, who then grabs a broom and shoos him back outdoors.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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