Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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A rooster lays an egg on the tip of a roof. Which side does it fall to? Roosters don't lay eggs

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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How do you make a tissue dance? Tissues are inanimate objects, they cannot dance and thinking otherwise is foolish.

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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Hej Erik och Leo!!

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, your mother has AIDS.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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Why do people who walk into bars never have names?

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Why don’t stores sell mouse-flavored cat food? It’s a matter of marketing; tuna, chicken and liver flavors sound much more palatable to the humans buying the pet food.

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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what is the best way to stand out from the croud? open up your butt hole and take a video for to put on dat jumbotron

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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