Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

what movie can a retarded 8 year old play the lead role in. Zathura

Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Watching your mum get sandwiched by two black guys...

Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house. knock knock..... who's there? the chicken

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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