Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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A gay man watches football.

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God is real.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Why did Anti-Joke.com close down? It didn't. If your reading this, the site is fully operational and up to date with your system.

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Ask me about my wiener. How's your wiener? I don't have a wiener, I'm a woman.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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