What do you get when you cross a dog and a school bus? A dog and a school bus are not sexually compatible and therefore they cannot reproduce.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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Yo momma so stupid, she had you.

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "Never-mind that, you've got AIDS.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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The fox said to the walrus, "Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho!" And the walrus replied, "Goo-Goo-g'joob".

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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