Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Hey did you hear the one about the pizza oven? No.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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Priest: "Matt, will you take Senae to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?" Matt: No

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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You're a country without the "tree". Did you just call me a cunt?

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to one tree 1 baby nailed to 10

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Why don't you push a mexican off a bike, because its probably yours,

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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Why did the little boy cry and run home from the store? Because the store was out of pickles.

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^ That's not even funny ^

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Is your Alzheimers getting better? I have alzeimers?...

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why are chickens dying so fast? because black people are hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops