How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Why did the boy jump of the cliff? He was following the others

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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knock knock Goodbye

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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What do you call a horse with a missing leg Calling it names could be considered animal abuse and should be reported immediately

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money, I forgot what happens right but it wasn't that funny anyway

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Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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pull my finger (farts)

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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