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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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dalas rof rezilitref taerg a si citsalp. Read it from right to left.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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It's that time of the month again... ...to cut my toenails.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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I'm a psychic. Don't believe me? Think of any number between 1 and 20. Got it? Your number is 17. Please comment if I got it right

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Even though I can't tell Because I am color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops