Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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Why couldn't the Mexican man get a job? Because he was dead.

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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What starts with P and ends in ORN Popcorn!

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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