Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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Romney: I think you would raise our debt and make more Americans jobless. Obama: It's just cuz I'm black!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because pterodactyls along with all other dinosaurs have been extinct for millions of years.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops