I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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Q. Why did Obama cross the road? A. To collect taxes from the houses on the other side

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops