-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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A Finnish guy and a Russian guy go into a sauna. The Russian died.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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what do you get when you cross a turkey with a goat? nothing you can't cross to genetically different spieces stupid

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Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Why wasn't Will invited to the party? Will has been dead for 3 years.

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why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Why is the spine-tailed swift is the fastest bird? Because its faster than the second fastest bird

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A black man and a white women are having dinner at a fanncy resteraunt. The waitor asks "Who is the better tipper... I know and hands the check to the white women.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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