What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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My spelling is horrible

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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what did the blind, deaf, paraplegic child get for christmas? other than cancer, nothing.

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What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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Have you seen Stevie Wanders new house? No. Neither has he.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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What did dyslexic Old McDonald say? . . . I have a learning disability that impairs my fluency and comprehension accuracy in being able to read and spell

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Michael walked into a bar, The rest of the bar initially erupted with laughter until the his carer made everybody aware that Michael suffered from brittle bones and that he had actually fractured his hip after colliding with the bar. People then understood the gravity situation as the bartender immediately dialled the emergency services. Michael managed to recover physically from the accident but to this day he is still scarred from the laughter aimed at him the night of his accident and is too afraid to return to the bar again in fear of being mocked despite the misunderstanding of the situation.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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