Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

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A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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A horse walks into a butcher shop and asks for two apple pies. The butcher says "sorry, but we don't have apple pies. It's a butcher shop." And the horse says "nevermind, I came here on my bike."

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

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A lesbian and a gay both lie about there gender on eharmony, trying to get a date with someone there own gender. By coincedene, they get matched and go on a date, and both of them realize how weird this situation is and go home.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

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"You just went and made a new dinosaur?" "And due to its well-developed core muscles the staff behind Jurassic World has called it - 'ABDOMINUS PEX'." "That's a stupid name."

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a person who will soon die of beeties

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone...

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? Thousands of years of different evolutionary tracks resulting from different climates and available food sources.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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