a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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"I see London; I see France..." "Wow. You must have exceptional eyesight."

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops