Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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9/11 my birthday

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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why did susie fall off the dollar coaster? it only cost 50 cents susie is gone now

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Why was the little boy hit by a bus? I pushed him

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Whats the same between a baby and pizza? their both edible

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womens rights

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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