What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You set the alarm for a reasonable time. - Louis

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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How many dead babies can you fit inside Casey Anthony's trunk? Trick question. She didn't do it.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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3 men of different races walk into a bar. The bartender then proceeds to ask, "what would you 3 men like?"

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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