A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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1,2,3,4,5..what comes next? yeah you should know how to count

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street, one was assaulted, the other was brutally raped.

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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did you hear about the little girl who won first place in her school's spelling bee? she was hit by a bus

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What's white and gluey Glue

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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Dick Cheney That's the joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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