- Anti Joke

Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

How do you get Suzy to get off the swing? Ask her to move.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

Why was the 18 year boy afraid of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

There's two blondes a black man and a camera man...

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

Sittin' on the couch with the morning post With a cold cup of coffee and some boring toast Thinkin' I'm-a change it up, yeah that's always fun What you reckon, Remz? A McDonald's run So we hit the couch cushions, need some dollars, friend Yo, I found a five. Man, that's Canadian. How 'bout a loonie? A twonie? A spoon or The Goonies? Oh, it's 10:25. Dude, you gotta move, G. Got the cash, got the car, got the pedal to the floor Speed limit's 25, but I'm doing 34 Going drive-thru style, man it's fast express You can call it trans fat, I call it happiness Roll up to the teller fella with a minute to spare Frenchy with a headset, "can I take your order?" A McGriddle with a little sweet and sour there, son A McMuffin, then be stuffin' muffins up in my trunk Then a tray or two of hotcakes, man I can't decide, uh... All's I know is hit them things with Aunt Jemimah How 'bout an egg fajita for some Texas flavor No drama but my momma wants a breakfast bagel Don't forget my #4, or there'll be hell to spend And I want them eggs poached like an elephant Frenchy back on the line, "is that all your order?" No it ain't, fool, I want a Coca-Cola! Get my cup of Coke and I'm-a start a riot Cuz on the cup lid, dude depressed the "diet" Check his shirt tag, and I catch the name Brian, I ain't tryin' to drink aspartame Sittin' on the couch, 'bout an hour later Pickin' at a pouch of some Now n' Laters Hardly starving, man, but I find a hunch Start the car up fast because it's time for lunch It just takes two bucks and I get what I need Two beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese "Supersize Me" said he's had enough of it But how is it bad for my heart if I'm in love with it? If you never had McDonald's, heck, well dude you should It's a party, like a Hardee's, except the food is good Just don't get a large #2, I plead with you friend Cuz it'll be a large #2 when you see it again Enter the store, first you holla, then you Pick a couple items off the dollar menu Four hot McNuggets, dessert with custard Mix the sweet n' sour with a squirt of mustard. A Big Mac attack, you can max the lettuce Paying ain't a pain, they take cash or credit Want a water? You can pay up there for spring Or get the free Grimace cup--how embarassing They say, "you're playing with a cardiac arrest, my boy" Only thing bad for my heart's when they forget my toy Now I'm-a have a milkshake, but before you rant It's made of shamrocks--now that's a plant People say it's bad, but I don't believe them McDonald's is peace--just ask Tom Friedman Momma catch me with a 'zine, and she's screaming "stop! Don't you worry, Mom, it's just my man Ray Kroc

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

Roses are Red Violets or Red Trees are Red HOLY SH*T MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay for it, eat it and then proceed on disposing the packaging of the klondike bar

How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

How do you prevent a drowning..? A: You don't throw the black man in the portwater

25

Granny P-O-R-N!!!!

My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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