How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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If life hands you lemons... Question yourself what just happened because life isn't tangible and has no way of handing you lemons, and even if it did, why lemons?

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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what did the kid with no hair get for christmas? cancer.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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