What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Jesus Christ

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What is annoying and uses another language? Spanish class!

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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why was the 6 year old boy crying? his mother had just passed away from terminal cancer and his stepdad caught him crying so he kicke hm in the face and told him to man up.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

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Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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A gay man watches football.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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What's good about sex with twenty-three year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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God is real.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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