Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

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Q: What does a psychic have in common with a stone? A: The bible decrees that psychics are witches and should be stoned and something topical about the stone.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had very recentley made his escape from a nearby farm, of which was owned by a man close to dying of a Rhabdoid Tumor. His family was in mourn.

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What's the difference between an Asian bookkeeper and a Jewish dog? This isn't a joke, it's an assignment for school, I need to write a 3 page paper on this. Any ideas?

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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roses are red, violets are blue, Hitler killed 6.6 million jews.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops