Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what did the man say to the person he hates? nothing!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What more orange that a lime? Most things.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's black, white, and red all over? And interracial man with multiple stab wounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops