Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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What's black and has ne education? A tire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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