Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman walk into a bar. And have a wonderful evening of multicultural entertainment and fun together.

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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A black guy, a Mexican, an Arab and a white guy walk into a room and embrace cultural diversity.

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My spelling is horrible

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops