There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't tom concentrate on his homework? Because he was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the mexican work for a lawn care service I don't know why don't you ask him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's brown an sticky Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a girl with one leg? Eileen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +4

SPILL THE BEAAAANNSSSS

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Is it not a antijoke? When your granpa uncle or whatever used to pull out basically worthless coins out of your ears? And each time you wanted for him to drag out so many you can actually buy some bubblegum or something, the "stash" you where saving diminishes the moment you receive a new coin? Moral: Dont believe in yourself! Believe in me! Because I believe in you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops