You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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every cloud has a silver lining

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Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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Roses are red. Violets are violet.

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Why don't some black men have jobs? Because they won't work

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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FUCK YOU

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What is the difference between a pig and a crow? One is a animal that Is butchered to be eaten as a wonderful meat product. And the other is a pretentious asshole bird that no one likes.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What is the biggest lie in the world? I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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alert('The Game')

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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What dithe blackman say to the white man ???? Nothin! They both committed suicide.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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