Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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What did hitler say to the jacket potato? Your fucked now!

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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star wars kid

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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