Knock Knock. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you tell a woman who claims that she is going to yell "fire" in a crowded movie theater? That doing so could result in serious injuries or even death, and that she would be wise to reconsider her future options, as she could be held responsible for any and all problems that arise.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? Because it was sold out

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

roses are red violets are blue ill keep u in my heart forever and ower baby to

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Yo mama is so ugly that she never got married or involved with anyone in her lifetime because everyone was to scared and ashamed to be around her. you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your momma is so fat, that she decided to sign up for weight-watchers, and is now on her way to a healthy life

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make a lawyer cry? You can't. The production of tears requires a soul, which, regretfully, no lawyer possesses.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walked into a blind child's house and made him see again. He stepped outside, walked into traffic, and died as he was not used to the light.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the little girl crying in the woods at night? There was psychotic killer chasing her with a chainsaw.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is stupid and looks like you? You.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops