Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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My former roomate had that game, about some bald guy that can slow down time, but thats like supernatural or something.

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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What kind of king has 2 heads? A card!

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an 80 yr old man apllies to walmart

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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