Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What kind of cheese isn't yours? Someone else's.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

thumb_up thumb_down +23

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. The fight began and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing you say when you don't want to fight anymore and you let the other person win?" The other guy says to the challanger, "I give up?" Then the challenger yells. "I WIN!"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. John runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What the difference between a black person and a piece of shit in a bucket? The bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops