Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Q: What did the vomiting man say to his friend? A: BLEEEAAARRRGGHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to his wife? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the waiter in the restaurant? A: BLAAAAAARGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Leonardo DiCaprio? A: BLEEEEAAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the convenience store clerk? A: BLAAAAAARRRGGGGHHHH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to your mom? A: BLAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to Barack Obama? A: BLAAAARRRRRGGHHHH!! Q; What did the vomiting man say to the King of Saudi Arabia? A: BLAAAAAAAAAAAEEEAAARRGH! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the bartender? A: BLLLEEEEAAAARRGHHHH!!! Q: What did the vomiting man say to the funeral home director? A: BLLLEEEAAAARRRGGGHHH!!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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eoin burgin is fat

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Q. What do you get if you cross a suspicious person with a paranoid person? A. Who wants to know

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

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What's sad about a pile of dead people? They didn't have life insurance.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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why didn't the unicorn have a horn? It was a horse. Why didn't the horse have a horn? it was not a unicorn.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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Why did Kallum come to Getaway? Because he ran out of hats

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Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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