Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What happens if you an 3ft size olive, a glob of red paint and rainbow colored glue on a table and rub your arm in it? You get olive, red paint and glue on your arm.

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What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

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Q: What do you call a dear with no eyes A: Nothing - call an animal cruelty service

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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An alligator was found wearing a vest. The investigator had no comment... As alligators are incapable of speech. ^^^

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What do you call a bunch of Cubans on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico? A guy who just so happens to own a boat and is on a fishing trip with his buddies. -Mitch Hastings

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops