Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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I hate it when people dont finish there sen

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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