Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

The President walks into a local pub. Everyone shits their fricken pants because the President is here.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

I took my blind grandmother to the art gallary

A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

Q: What do you call a black person flying a plane? A: A pilot.

My black friend love grape soda and koolaid, with his fried chicken, and i dont think its racist cuz i also enjoy the same things at times

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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