What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

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What did Bob say at Fred's house? "I know where Fred lives."

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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what has two legs, and is red? half a cat.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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What's worst than being stung by a bee? being stung by two bees. what's worst than that? The Holocaust. What's worst than that? being stung by three bees.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops