You wake, and up for a second you are dazed. Then you open your eyes slowly because you are afraid of what is to come. You then remember oh right I had a sleepover at john smith's house.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy grows up loving tractors. For birthday and Christmas each year he got a tractor toy of some kind, until the age of 17, when he finally gave up tractors and got himself a CD player. One day, listening to all the latest tunes with some headphones, he looks outside to see his neighbour's house on fire. He goes outside to find firemen trying to put out the blaze. He jumps into the blazing house and inhales as much as he can, which astonishingly puts out the blaze. A fireman confusing asked "How did you do that?" The boy replies, " I'm an ex-tractor fan."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A princess kisses a frog to acquire a prince. Then gets arrested for beastiality.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock Whos there? Me. I am a psycopathic heroin addict, and i came to your house to violently rape you and kill your whole family. I dont have a family. Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Twelve billion Nero, you puppy dog you hot blooded latino man. Why cant I control it myself?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

how many flys in a box six --sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I'm Polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops