What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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What do you feel inside after eating an entire class of pre-schoolers? A stomach ache

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Women.

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Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

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whats the stage after cancer? you die

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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if you don't like this you're gay

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde go on vacation in Hawaii. They plan to swim to the next island. The brunette and redhead do it with no problem. The blonde swims halfway and realizes she is tired. She continues to swim straight ahead knowing her friends are already at the next island.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops