A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: (sigh) Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust emerging from hell.

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a

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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civil rights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops