how do you call someone? use a phone

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered SIX offender

My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

Q: What did one water bottle say to another water bottle? A: Nothing. Water bottles are inanimate objects and are thus unable to communicate.

Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...