A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Jews

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Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop 397, IF you have a big tounge

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Q: The red house is to the left and the blue house is to the right. Where is the white house? A: 3 blocks down from the red house

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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What do you call a white guy pointing a gun at someone? A member of the United States Army.

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Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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