Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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Shelly tells Rob to go home... Thats what she said

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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what happened to your carpool? they died.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops