A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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What did one ginger say to the other? W are both gingers.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

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Haikus usually make sense, but sometimes they don't refrigerator.

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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why did the chicken eat chicken noodle soup? Because he killed his brother.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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