How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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Barbara and Martin died in their apartment. The neighbor walked in and found glass and water everywhere. How did they die? -Barbara and Martin were fish.

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

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Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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