How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was in the oven because the farmer was cooking it for dinner.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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What's more horrible than Twilight? Hitler.

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Calling your penis a chose because it's small and fat.

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Q: What's worse than burning your tongue on hot chocolate. A: Getting shanked by a homeless man

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Q-What's funnier than 24? A-Most black jokes

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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