Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is black and white and red all over? A multi-racial orphan who has recently suffered a fatal stab wound to a major artery.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? Nickleback.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the hardest thing about eating a quadriplegic? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

deez nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the car crash? Because the driver was just a box of raisen Brand

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Arab 1: Du good bai me, and I'll du good bai you. Arab 2: Ye men, sounds good men. Arab 3: O man, no way. Arab 4: K, u wait...jus wait n see.. Arab 5: I no interest! Me so saudi! Arab 6: D'oh...ha, ha, haa! Arab 7: This is so bahrain...I'm going to go club some protesters.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

High enough to know that fucking IQ is a terrible way to measure the total potential of the mind, which is potentially limitless depending on the person`s contact and control over the subconscious state.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops