What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a terrorist.

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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