What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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