How many electricians with a suitable ladder does it take to change a bulb? If the bulb fitting is now obsolete it may not be possible.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

Knock knock! Just kidding.

Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

What did the T-Rex say to the caveman? Nothing. Tyrannosaurus Rex was a prehistoric land animal that roamed the Earth roughly 65 million years before the appearance of man. Making such a conversation impossible.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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