What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

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What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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