Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats one word that gets everyones attention? rapist,bomb,and sex

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many kids with ADHD does it take to fix a lightbulb? Lets go ride bikes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-Knock Knock? -Who's There? -David Baxter. -David Baxter Who? -Wha- What? What do you mean "David Baxter who?" We were best friends in high school. YOU WERE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING!! *David Baxter proceeds to cry, as he doesn't know of his dear friend's Alzheimer's disease*

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Gus go to the HC? Because he got high off his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

My grandma once told me " never trust the blacks"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops