Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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my parents let me say words that start with sh and end in it. shit what else could it be

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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What's just not right? Left

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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what do you get when you cross a puma and a turkey? A horrible abomination of life that begs to be killed.

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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