Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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why does osama bin ladens death make me happy? because he was the leader of alkida and created many threats to the u.s. thus the death is ending this creating more freedom. (OSAMA LIKES PENIS!!)

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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Q: how do you get an clown off a unicycle A:You hit it with a police baton

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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A black man has a woman up against a wall, and she is screaming. they are passionate lovers and he is pleasing her greatly.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

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Want to hear a funny story? So, these to kids have cancer...

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a whiskey sour and a mop.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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