Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

thumb_up thumb_down

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

thumb_up thumb_down

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down

WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down

A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

thumb_up thumb_down

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops