Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

thumb_up thumb_down -18

it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call two dog? dogs

thumb_up thumb_down -18

roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A stand-up comedian quits his job. He has social anxiety and can't stand the pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There were two blondes going to California for the summer, they are about two hours into the flight and the pilot gets on the intercom and says we just lost an engine but it is all right we have three more but it will take us an hour longer. A half hour later he gets on the intercom again and says we just lost another engine but its all right we have two more it will take us another half hour though. One of the blondes says "If we lose the two last engines we will be up here all day"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

steve walked into a bar, what happened next? A: He fell down.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops