What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Everybody will die

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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