A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

FUCK YOU

once upon a time there was a chicken, it crossed a road however unlikely this chicken has become famed for its crossing and will be hailed for eternity. through the chickens actions thus the first anti joke was born

why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

hello i hav a growing interes in math and arithmetic especially when it involves pi if u are still reading this you either didnt realize that this was a joke or just didnt care but most likely it means that the first line interested or bored u and u wanted to find out wut the rest was u like????

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

roses are red violets are blue start sucking my dick or ill kill you

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

what did the orange say to the apple? hi

yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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