what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two gay guys are cuddling in a park when they spot a hot, busty blonde jogging near them. One turns to the other and says, "Damn... It's days like this I wish I was a lesbian."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the black man apply for a job at kfc? His family was in debt after the loss of his father.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm called the! no i wish am I left

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops