How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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Why did the sloth swing from the tree? It hung itself.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ryan. Ryan who? Ryan Seacrest.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What did the pregnant 16 year old get for her birthday? A miscarriage

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

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what did one dog say to another dog? ....nothing, because they can only bark.

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops