How does Helen Keller play the piano? With one hand.. She needs the other hand to sing.

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

whats the difference between 10 Ferrari's and 10 dead babies ? i dont have 10 Ferrari's in my garage

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

What's worse than a baby on a pitchfork? Two babies on a pitchfork.

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

a man checks his mypsace

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

what's a snake that has no legs a snake

the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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